Noel, Ragna and the Beast
by Sovereign64
Summary: Noel Vermillion and Ragna the Bloodedge both try to save the city of Kagutsuchi from the Black Beast. ONESHOT


DW: Don't ask why I write this. I just feel bored. I suck.

**Disclaimer: Did you know? I OWN BLAZBLUE! THAT'S RIGHT! (Telephone rings) Hello? WHAT? WE LOST THE LAWSUIT TO AKSYS GAMES? (Sighs and puts down phone) Sorry…I do not own BlazBlue. (Sobs) I'LL GET YOU ONE DAY!**

_**Noel, Ragna and the Beast**_

_Ahh, another peaceful evening in Kagutsuchi. Listen to the peaceful tranquility. _

We see the city of Kagutsuchi and then something dark comes by and eats off a part of the sign of Kagutsuchi.

_Uh-oh. _

The large black thing moves on to the rest of Kagutsuchi.

An NOL officer is writing a ticket for a car parked near a fire hydrant. Suddenly, the black thing comes by and makes disgusting eating noises.

Suddenly the car disappears. The NOL officer glances about, he then picks up the fire hydrant, moves it to the adjacent car. He then places the ticket on that car, whistling as he walks away.

The thing is seen moving on toward Noel's house. It smashes through Noel's house and enters her room.

Noel sleeps on, not caring about what was going on right now and murmurs "Trick-or-treat. Thank you." The thing takes Noel's blanket, "More candy." The thing takes Noel's pillow, "What?"

She wakes up fully and stares fixedly at the thing in terror; camera zooms out to show half of the house's walls missing.

* * *

The next day, at a Chinese restaurant, Noel is seen talking to all the citizens of Kagutsuchi. "I saw it! It was big! It was all black! And it ate everything!"

"That's horrible!" Makoto Nanaya cried as she walks over while holding a tray of food. She then consumes everything that was on the tray, including the bowl and containers. Kokonoe, who was standing next to her, rolled her eyes.

"It was a **GIANT**...**BLACK**...**BEAST**!" Noel shouted.

The crowd murmurs worriedly and they all start to argue. "He ate my shoe!" Bang Shishigami cried, holding up his right foot, showing a bite in it.

"He ate my children's homework!" Litchi Faye Ling cried as Carl Clover and Linhua are standing in front of her. Both Carl and Linhua then winked and both give a big thumbs-up.

Iron Tager had a huge bite taken out of his butt, and he said, "Do I need to say it?"

The crowd murmurs some more in much worry. Then Platinum the Trinity cried, "How can we protect ourselves?"

"I've got it!" Hazama, the restaurant manager, shouted. "Let's all buy a meat bun!" He said smiling, but the crowd boos and throws their bowl of noodles, weapons, cups of water, shoes, etc. at him.

"I say we should lock our doors!" Taokaka suggested.

"I say we should call my nephew." Rachel Alucard stated.

"I say we should build a moat!" Hakumen said.

"I say we should take Kagutsuchi and push it somewhere else!" Makoto said, and the crowd immediately quiets down upon hearing this.

"That idea may just be crazy enough... to get us all killed!" Tsubaki Yayoi growled.

Another pause, and the crowd resumes fretting about what to do and what NOT to do, "I got it! Let's get someone to go after it!" Relius Clover said, pumping up his fist. But Hazama grabs him by the collar.

"There's no one foolish enough to take on a Giant Black Beast!" Hazama cried, when suddenly, a horrible screeching noise is heard; the crowd cringes and they see Jin Kisaragi with his Yukianesa in his hand, scraping it on the window.

He stops seeing everyone staring at him. It was an apparent he was trying to get their attention, "You know where the nearest bathroom is?" Jin cringed.

Everyone look slightly peeved as Hazama pointed with his thumb, "Down the hallway to the left."

Jin's legs were wobbling and he smiled as he said, "Thanks."

"Maybe I'll catch your beast for ya, that is, if you're willing to pay!" Everyone turned to see a man dressed in a red coat and black hakama, sitting on a desk with his boots on the top. He looks up and narrows his eyes. His name was Ragna the Bloodedge.

"Noooo! You'll never get a cent out of me!" Hazama runs to block the cash register with his body, "Never! I'd rather that Beast come in here right now and eat you all alive!" He begins foaming at the mouth; and the crowd looks at him strangely, after a long pause he calms down, "Sorry."

Ragna stares at Hazama for a second before he laughs warmly, "Aw don't fret, man. I don't want your money. I was just playing up the drama of the moment, that's all. So chill." Hazama chuckles, which gradually turns into crying; Ragna continues, "Nope. I'm gonna take that spineless punk down for nothing, because this is personal."

"Why?" Rachel asked.

Ragna became angry, "He took my Azure Grimoire!"

Everyone gasped, knowing Ragna loves his Azure Grimoire sword, but hated anyone who dared messed with his favorite sword, "That's terrible!" Carl Clover said.

"No kidding! He must've got it while I had my back turned, that coward!" Ragna said as the crowd sympathizes, "I am gonna get back what's mine!"

The crowd cheers happily and they all pump their fists into the air.

However, Noel gasped in horror. She pushes through the crowd and runs over to Ragna. "What? But Ragna, you don't know what you're up against. We're talking about a **GIANT**...**BLACK**...**BEAST**!"

"Well, I don't know about you, but look here," Ragna pulls out an album with pictures, "During my training, I fought with giants…and fought with beasts." He then puts away his album. "Now I'm gonna go kick some black beast ass!"

Ragna then walks over to the doors of the restaurant and the crowd goes wild with joy, "You get him Ragna!" Litchi cheered.

"Yeah, go get that lame excuse of a beast!" Tsubaki cheered.

Noel was the only one who didn't cheer, "But Ragna, you don't know! Don't!"

"Don't worry, Noel. I won't be long," Ragna said, cheerfully and leaves the restaurant.

Noel chases after him, "Ragna! Ragna!"

"Go get 'em, Ragna! We have the utmost confidence in you!" Hazama cheered with the crowd.

They all stopped when Hazama turned to Makoto, "Now, what was that idea of yours again?"

* * *

"PUSH!" Makoto screamed.

Soon, we see all the citizens trying to push the city of Kagutsuchi.

* * *

Ragna was walking through the forest when he turns to notice Noel chasing after him. "Wait! Ragna!" Noel cried.

"Hey there Noel, you coming to watch?" Ragna smiled, as he stopped for the moment.

"Ragna, don't go!" Noel cried as she stops in front of Ragna.

"Why not?" Ragna asked.

"Ragna, I saw him!" Noel yelled, "It's BIG...SCARY…MONSTEROUS...and BLACK!"

"So is Arakune," Ragna mentions, "But I'm not afraid of that either!"

"You'll get massacred!" Noel cried as she turns into cubes and falls over to the ground in pieces.

Ragna gives her an annoyed look, "Noel, what you think is big and what I think is big are two totally different 'big's'. Besides, he's got my Azure Grimoire sword. I can't let him get away with that."

"Okay, but what if the beast didn't take your rocket?" Noel asked.

Ragna said confused, "If that beast didn't got my sword, who does?"

"Um…I do?" Noel said unconvincingly, shrugging.

"You do?" Ragna asked, his eyebrow quirked, "Where?"

"Um... in my pocket," Noel said, pointing at her dress.

"Well, why didn't you just say so?" Ragna smiled, "Give it here! Come on!" Noel looks nervous, pulls something from her pocket, and opens her hand; Ragna quickly frowned, now even more annoyed to see the items, "Noel, that's a paper clip and a piece of string."

"No, that's your sword." Noel said, shaking her head.

Ragna glared at Noel and places his hands on his hips, "Noel!"

"How would you know? It's always at your side!" Noel pointed at Ragna defensively, with tears starting to form in her eyes.

Ragna was taken aback, "Well…"

Suddenly, Noel starts tearing up. "Oh, don't go, don't go, don't go!" Noel cried and wraps her arms around Ragna's waist.

Ragna pulls her off. "Noel, what is the matter with you?" Ragna angrily asked, "Now, I'm gonna go give that scaly dork what-for, and there isn't anything you can say that can stop me!" He resumes walking through the forest.

"Oh yeah?" Noel asked, "What if I said... 'blargen fedibble no-hip'?"

Ragna stops, and glanced back, "Well, I gotta admit, that slowed me down, but I'm still going for him!" He continues to walk.

Noel then appears next to Ragna as he walks along, "You know, that sword of yours is so overrated. Let's just forget about it and go home."

But Ragna keeps walking and Noel reappears with ice cream in her hand. "I've got ice cream!" Noel sang, although Ragna still walks, "With meat…"

Ragna continues walking and this time, Noel appears once more, but this time, dressed in orange robes and have a cat mask on her face.

"Ragna, this is your master Jubei speaking, and I forbid you to go after this beast!" Noel yelled out with a distorted voice, but Ragna continued walking.

"You come back here, my apprentice!" Noel yelled out, pointing her finger at Ragna.

"You're not Jubei!" Ragna yelled back.

Then, Noel stands in front of him with boxing gloves. "Ragna, if you want to get to that beast, you're gonna have to go through me!"

Then Ragna picks up Noel and places her aside and continues walking.

Then, Noel grabs his ankles, making Ragna stop and looking down, "Ragna, no!" Noel wailed with Ragna so annoyed he can feel anger bubbling inside of him, "I can't let you! I'm not gonna let you get killed. If you find him, you'll get eaten for sure!"

"Noel, there is no way some dumb old black beast's gonna make a meal of me. I'm too tough!" Ragna said as he started to walk again, dragging Noel.

"NO!" Noel cried still holding onto his ankles, "No, not tough enough. Not tough enough!"

"Noel, quit your worrying. I can take care of myself," Ragna said, shaking Noel off. "After all, who's the strongest fighter in Kagutsuchi?" Ragna grabs an anchor and pulls a space ship down from the surface.

"You are," Noel said.

"And who put the hi-yah, hi, ho, 'K' in karate?" Ragna said making karate moves and makes a K shape.

Noel makes a U shape. "You did," she said.

"And who saves your backside from certain destruction on a regular basis?" Ragna also mentions.

Noel looks at her panties that has 'Property of Ragna the Bloodedge' printed on it. "You do," she said.

"Right," Ragna nodded, "And I can handle this little beast too, Because I am the best there is! There is nothing too big or too ornery for me to catch."

"Okay," Noel said, sighing.

"Say it," Ragna said.

"There isn't anything..."

"Is nothing!"

"Is nothing," Noel said, "Too big or too ornery for you to catch. But..." Then, Ragna cuts her off as they both walk through the forest. "But..." He cuts her off again, "And..." Cuts her off again, "We..." Cuts her off again. "I..." Cuts her off again. "Yeah but..."

"No!" Ragna snapped.

"You see..." Noel said.

"No!"

"I..." Noel said. Ragna cuts her off one last time with a frustrated groan.

* * *

Soon, Ragna picks up some sand from the ground as if tracking an animal and sniffs it, "Beast sign," he realized holding a small sign in his palm that has "BLACK BEAST" painted on it; looks up to a VERY scary looking cave, "He's in that cave."

Noel was really worried. "Ragna, are you sure you...?"

"Of course I am! I'm going in, and I'm not coming out till I got me a big heaping plate of Black Beast stew," Ragna said.

He walks into the cave. Noel hides behind a rock and shudders in fear, hoping Ragna knew what he was doing. "Aha! There you are, you sword-nabbing villain!" She can hear Ragna said from the cave. "Hi-yah!"

We hear karate noises; Ragna peeks out of the cave. "I'm winning, Noel!" Then, he resumes fighting.

"Ragna, that's not...!" Noel tried to say.

There was more fighting noises. Ragna peeks out again. "This shouldn't take long." He resumes fighting.

"Ragna, that's not...!" Noel was saying.

"Almost done!" Ragna said and resumes fighting.

"RAGNA!" Noel yelled out.

"Yee-haw!" Ragna yelled out and comes out riding a black beast. "I got him, Noel!" He makes a giant knot of the beast's neck and stands on it proudly.

Noel was still uneasy. "Ragna...?"

"Boy, this guy put up some sort of fight. But I'm too tough, and as you can see, no beast is a match for me. I even found my sword!" Ragna smiled and takes out his sword.

"That's not the Black Beast," Noel said.

"What?" Ragna asked, opening his eyes and glanced down at Noel.

"That's not the beast," Noel repeated. "That's his child."

Suddenly, a foot stomps in. Ragna and Noel turn to see the real Black Beast. He roars angrily.

Ragna was silent a bit to see the beast. "Ohhhh. This is his child, and..." He starts trailing off. "That thing over there...is the...real Black Beast. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! "

Ragna and Noel sprint away. The Black Beast growls angrily, chomps down, and chases after them.

"So what's the plan, Ragna?" Noel cried as they look back and see that the Black Beast is approaching faster.

"Run faster!" Ragna yelled out, even more freaked out.

"I could've thought of that," Noel said. She then realized something. "Hey, wait a minute! I was right, wasn't I?"

"Later!" Ragna yelled.

"Ah, he is too big for you, isn't he?" Noel asked.

"Not now, Noel!"

"I wanna hear you say it!"

"Can we talk about this another time?"

"Say it!"

"Noel!"

"Say it, or I'll trip you!" Noel said running on one foot, the other poised to trip Ragna.

"No!" Ragna cried, knowing it he tripped, he would be beast food.

"Say it!"

"Not now!"

"Say it!"

"Okay!" Ragna admitted, "You were right, and I was wrong. I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! Sheesh, are you happy now?"

Noel smiled devilishly. "I knew it. "

The Black Beast emits another huge roar; prompting the two to run even faster and scream louder. The guys run up and down the forest, which The Black Beast smashes through all the trees.

They run past Iron Tager, who is leaning over under his car's hood; his butt is bandaged up. The Black Beast passes by and takes another bite out of him. "Aw…Not again!" Tager moaned.

"Ragna?" Noel wondered.

"Yeah?" Ragna asked.

"What do we do now?"

Ragna is panting and sweating. He turns to see Black Beast roaring again. He turns again to see the seemingly endless trees in front of them. He smiled, getting an idea. "I've got it! Noel, you still got that paper clip and that string?"

"I'm way ahead of you, Ragna," Noel realized smiling back, taking her items out. She grabs them and she fashions a necklace out of them, "Look, it's a necklace! N for 'Noel' or R for 'Ragna'! That way they can identify our bodies when we die!"

"No, you idiot!" Ragna snapped, "How about SOB as in 'save our behinds'?" He takes the string and uses the hook of the paper clip to wrap the string around one of the trees. He grabs Noel and swings her up and over the branch onto the Black Beast's back.

"Yee-haw! Now this is what I call a rodeo!" Noel said turning into a cowgirl.

"Yeah!" Ragna said. "We'll be nice and safe up here."

Then the Black Beast starts to plow off a cliff like a runaway train. They look down and gasped. Ragna and Noel scream realizing this, and begin running toward the end of the Black Beast to the safety of the plateau.

They jump off safely as the Black Beast falls off the cliff. Noel nearly fell, but Ragna managed to grab her just in time. The two watched as the Black Beast continued to fall, and then they cheered, "We did it!" Ragna and Noel cheered.

"Yay! He'll never get out of there!" Noel smiled.

"We saved the town!" Ragna cheered also.

"Yeah! Let's go tell everybody!" Noel said as the two happily walk away to tell the people.

* * *

But all the citizens were still trying to push Kagutsuchi to safety. The city is now in the valley at the bottom of the cliff. "PUSH!" Makoto cried as they push, "PUSH!"

They stop pushing to see they were safe. "Hooray!" they cried. Suddenly, the Black Beast, still falling, lands on the city and smashes it to bits.

"Ouuuuuch," he groaned.

**THE END**


End file.
